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October 19, 2005
Test-Icicles - Boa Vs. Python 7"
Test-Icicles
Boa vs. Pyton 7"
Domino
Buy
on iTunes
NOTE: For the sake of my sanity, I will murder
someone you love if I receive any emails asking about phallic innuendo. Get
your giggles out now. When I was over in the UK, I had heard that Domino
Records had gone on a signing spree picking up bands left and right. I heard
whispers of a band that was described by many as The Arcade Fire meets Slayer.
Test-Icicles is as close as that marriage of musical styles will ever come.
Let's break this down into a math equation... just like Entertainment Weekly
does! The following is a transcript of a EW music meeting I attended re: Test-Icicles.
Carter: Ok guys what does Test-Icicles sound like-
Marc: It sounds like a buncha BALLS to me
<gunshot>
Mary: Oh my god.
Carter: It wasn't even a real pun.
Mike: Well man I think it sounds like the Shins and like Death Cab For Cutie!
Yeah! Have you heard of that Post Office band?
Carter: Do you only get your musical tastes from The O.C.?
Mike: Dude, Adam Brodie is so coo-
<Gunshot>
Mary: Oh my god...
Carter: Mary, wipe the blood off the donuts and hit me with some prose. I'm
having a hard time writing this review
Mary: Ok well... We could do one of those cool math problems like we did for
Bloc Party
Carter: Ok go.
Mary: Ok take one part Lindsay Lohan, multiply that by the Olsen twins' resemblance
to ET, and add some hard rockin' dudes like Creed.
Carter: That was inconceivably retarded.
Mary: No think about it. I posted one last week abou-
Carter: Oh I think I'm seeing it now but you're missing one thing that will
REALLY make the soccer moms get it.
Mary: What's that?
Carter: You forgot to divide it by <Gunshot>
<fin>
This Test-Icicles single brings rolling dance beats under high energy guitars
that smell of an appetizer at a Slayer buffet. Its not really metal,
but you can imagine Kerry King digesting some of it. The screaming vocals and
relentless four-to-the-floor drums make Test-Icicles the most high-energy angular-punky-dance
band to come out of the UK thus far. Silly synths and some incredible riffs
make me believe that Elkland was not infact the nail in the coffin to 2005's
dance-rock craze. (Check out the synth breakdown in the unreleased "Scene
Damage" - if you can find it) This is fun dance music, but there is something quite evil lurking underneath this lo-fi metallic disco.
They all have afros, be afraid. Grade: A+
Posted by Carter at October 19, 2005 08:19 PM