LIKE BRINGING A KNIFE TO A GUNFIGHT

bee-dle-dop-doo-duh-squee-bee-jee-bee-duh-whoooooooa

Now do you think she got a lisp from the meth?  Or was it the fellatio?
My favorite quote: "And if I want to have these hickeys all.... over.... my..... neck.  THATS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS"  Also notice how she calls her mom a whore in the promo with really no reason other than the fact that she cares for her.  CONTEST TIME!  Count how many times she says "DONT BE HATIN'"  Any pronunciations with a "g" do not count.

"Maury she's overweight... tell me something I don't know WHATEVA"
MORE FAT KIDS AFTER THE FAT JUMP!!!

While yes it's always funny when a zillionaire gets a sucker punch in the gym while on the treadmill watching his company crumble... I do still teeter on feeling bad for the ole' Lehman Bros.  They got screwed in out of all that bailout money that's going to be thrown around.  I mean this bank was 168 YEARS OLD. 

THINK ABOUT IT.

I MEAN HOLY FUCK.  MARTIN VAN BUREN WAS PRESIDENT.  DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHO THAT IS?!  Ok well most people don't either, but he was that dooshbag that lost the 1840 election to William Henry Harrison THE DUDE WHO DIED RIGHT AFTER HE TOOK OFFICE FROM PNEUMONIA.  wait right?

Wait was I talking about?  Oh yeah I remember

PUT ON A FUCKING SWEATER IF YOU'RE OUTSIDE IN JANUARY IN THE MID 19TH CENTURY...

AND GET THAT RICH GUY A STEAK FOR HIS FACE. 
 

Yeah yeah the daily show is funny...  What with the sarcastic quips about silly news, BUT IT HAS NOTHING on the The Onion TV.  Sensibly insensitive, and afraid of nothing, their motion graphics alone rival Fox News.  Check out this Hurricane report.

Wisconsin's finest.

Thanks Gawker for showing this to the world.  Thanks again for the great one-liner "Spin this, you filthy rich basket case."

The best impression I've seen in YEARS.

This dish available in like 20 languages I'm sure...  But the pimientos really add that extra zing.

It's really not so much about the dancing as it is about the candy punch at the end.  In the end, this Butterball Turkey of a child could easily swallow a bomb.  This is why he's no a person of interest to the Bush administration.

Sometimes tourism leads you to places like Vajdahunyad Castle in Budapest, Hungary, where you can stroll around large rooms and look at a TON of dead things.  This is the largest wall of antlers in the world.  I don't know if I'd be proud of that, but hey, it's a great headline on a travel brochure in a New Jersey Turnpike rest stop.  Who want's Roy Rogers and an STD from the toilet seat?  I LOVE RUTGERS SO MUCH.

There's something to be said about marketing campaigns during the early dawn of the computer age.  See more of these gems (including a great Radio Shack ad with Issac Asimov) at TechnoSpot.com.